东方教育点评：切题。论证充分，有说服力，论证手段丰富（举例、正反）表达思想清楚，语言流畅，词汇丰富，连贯性好。用词准确，仅有个别小错误。
p.s. 由于一些例文错误较多，点评中只是列举了部分的典型错误，而且为了保持原文面貌，编辑没有做过多的改动，所以欢迎大家一起来挑错，有问题和小水一起讨论。
2003年9月考试四级作文题：The Day My Classmate Fell Ill (or Got Injured)
提纲：
1.简单叙述一下这位同学生病（或受伤）的情况
2.同学、老师和我是如何帮助他/她的
3.人与人之间的这种相互关爱给我的感受是……
例1． （2分段）
One day, we are all in classroom. Wang fang said, Oh! We all see her and found that she was crying! Teacher turned to ask her what was wrong. She said, I do got a fever, my head is very hot! Feng Gang sent she to hospital, we all followed they. In the hospital, doctor Wang give a inject to her, she gradually calm and not hot as before. We all thanked the doctor.
东方教育点评：未能按照题目要求写，没有着重写同学、老师和我是如何帮助他/她的 人与人之间的这种相互关爱给我的感受是……。条理不清，思路紊乱，大部分句子均有错误，有的甚至影响理解。
原文修改后：
One day, when we were all in classroom., Wang fang Suddenly cried,, Oh! We all looked at her and found that she was groaning. Teacher turned to ask her what was wrong. She said, I have got a fever, my head is very hot!
Immediately, our teacher sent her to hospital, and we all followed them. In the hospital, we asked doctor Wang to give an injection to her, and she gradually became calm and not as hot as before. We all thanked the doctor.
The day has passed, but it is clearly in my mind. I think if we can do things like that in the incident, the society will be better, and the relationship between people will be better as well!