东方教育点评：（1）基本切题。
（2）文字连贯性不强，尤其是第二段，缺少一些必要的衔接词。
（3）简单句太多，可以考虑把一些合并成复合句。
（4）有些地方人称指代不明（如司机），容易引起误解
（5）有一些基本的时态、语法错误。
例4．（11分段）
Last Friday afternoon, when I was on my way home, a traffic accident took place at the crossing of Shanghai Road.
A pupil was knocked down by a black car when he was walking across the street. His legs were badly hurt. Sever(Several) minutes later an ambulance came, and the driver of the black car sent the pupil to the hospital immediately.
In my eyes, this accident was due to that the pupil broke the traffic rules. That is to say, the pupil walked across the street when the traffic lights were red. As soon as the driver saw the pupil, he stopped the car, however, it was too late. In my opinion, it was necessary to advocate people to confirm to the traffic rules. If the pupil hadnt broken the traffic rules, the accident might not have happened.
东方教育点评：(1)本文比较切题，表达思想清楚。
（2）语句比较通顺，但有少量语言错误。
例5．（14分段）
My name is Liming. I am studying at college. A week ago I saw a traffic accident , which is still vivid in my mind.
It was at about 9:00 on Saturday morning, June 15th, when I went out of the university to visit a friend of mine at another university. I was walking leisurely on the sidewalk when I heard a loud crash of two vehicles just at the T-junction about 10 meters away. Two taxis crashed together. It was a traffic accident.
I went up and found that the two taxis were badly damaged. Both hoofs were out of shape. One door of a car was knocked off and lying on the road. One driver was blooding and another was shut in the taxi. Some people were trying to help the