Red Amber(红琥珀)——关于吸血鬼的变态爱情
中国北京三帆中学初二十班，不曾离开，不曾离开！ VAMPIRE13
专辑：浙江寒春作文吧
非喜勿入。花了一天的时间，加入了很多心思及感情。小说以第一人称，一个男性吸血鬼的口吻展开叙述。主要反映吸血鬼的变态爱情观，却有几丝无奈与怜悯夹杂在其中。希望有人能够认真看。内有译文。
老师布置的作业。写恐怖或浪漫的小说，我综合了一下。根据我对吸血鬼很长时间的研究攥写出的。花了一天的时间，加入了很多心思及感情。小说以第一人称，一个男性吸血鬼的口吻展开叙述。主要反映吸血鬼的变态爱情观，却有几丝无奈与怜悯夹杂在其中。希望有人能够认真看。请大家尽量看英文，英文部分为本小说的精华所在，而中文翻译只是为了理解，失去了很多好的文采。
Red Amber
The crinoline of her dark flammulated dress swirled and swayed, sweeping into every corner of the stage. Bits of her ruddy cheeks sparkled as the amber glinted in dazzling lights. Each gentle wave, each tender step was full of passion and life. The red amber hanging from her neck flickered and swung from side to side, as she raised herself up in the air and fluttered like a Junoesque fairy. That striking bit of red caught my sight. I’ve never seen such strong a color, which almost…almost touched me, in a queer way.
I knew she reminds me of someone, someone that I long knew. She woke up this feeling inside me, the same feeling I used to have.
My heart froze as she approached the audience, bowing and smiling. I could see her pale, white face, but healthy and warm. It suddenly brought me to visions of the past, the same stage, the same blonde hair and that sweet smile, and of course, the same color of red.
Yes, that must be it! Ruby…she looked so much like Ruby. I could feel Ruby in my blood.
Though it has been hundreds of years since I’ve last seen Ruby, I still remember her face clearly. Straight blonde hair, with tints of brown. And that mysterious looking blue eyes of hers, could almost glance into one’s soul. She was a dancer in the downtown theatre, just a lot of singing and dancing, pretty much the same as what dancers do now, after hundreds of years passed by. I have always watched her performances, it kept me busy through unsleeping nights, and it gave me sweet dreams during the day. She had always worn a gorgeous red dress in her performances, guess it was because of her name, she loved the color red. I did too. Red is such a cryptic color, it reminds me of a lot of things, things I valued the most before I turned into what I am now, and things that I desired the most after that. It reminds me of hot, pouring liquid of blood…
Ruby, I wonder what she’d be like now. If only she was still alive, she would be the one dancing before my eyes. Yes, just like before. Just like hundreds of years ago. But no, she’s no longer here anymore. I had to, I had no choice. It was the life in her I loved but it was her death I desired to possess. She could only be mine, she belonged to me, and no other men except me, for no one loved her more than I did.
I loved her. I loved her with all the love I could have had. And I loved her to death.
But why blame me? That was my only choice, to keep her dignity and satisfy my desire. I couldn’t stand the thought of seeing her flirting to other men, other human, for she’s only mine. I’ve always watched her, owned her, well, in my own twisted way.
Yes, she should definitely thank me. I loved her too much to let her live on in her own world, and she was too special to me to be one of us. So I drank the last drop of her blood, despite her cries and groans. I remembered that night of her first embrace, in the dim moonlight, the horrifying screams of pain; I don’t want to think about it anymore. But in a way I set her free, gave her a new life of death.
The sparkling amber rolled into my mind again, shiny red, glittering crystal of solid which seemed to be flowing like red liquid. Only that I didn’t know her name. I’ll give her a name then. Amber. Red Amber.
Staring at this girl in front of me, I felt a strong desire, a desire of possessing her, just as I felt at the very same day hundreds of years ago. But this time, I’ll keep her alive. Oh…Amber…
Maybe that was how it all started, circling in this irresistible destiny.
Amber wasn’t necessarily famous, but a lot of people liked her performances. The theatre was full every time she walks on stage. Every night, I’d walk right out of my coffin and sit at the very front row. I loved the way she danced, delivered her passion of life through airy moves. It was somewhat magical, aroused a ghost of warmth I’d long lost.
Love was pure when I was a human. But it turned out to be nasty and snarled up after I was bitten by a Vampire. In results, I became one myself. My feelings for love became numerous and complicated. Sure, life was harder for us vampires. And we always had to make farfetched connections with life and death, warmth and coldness, blood and passion. Maybe love was just a sacrificial innocent lamb, something all of us longed for but couldn’t get hold of. Beautiful things always ended up being filthy when evil and desires get in between.
My master taught me how to catch my preys; he said I had to erotic and seductive in some way in order to get preys to come willingly. But I didn’t need to, some girls just begged me to bite them for eternal life, since vampires don’t die of old age. I’ve always despised those girls, and I pitied them too, pitied them for trading their life of human for a life of undead.
Thanks to these foolish girls, I didn’t have to hunt for my preys. I’ve always bitten girls I despised, but never the ones I loved. I loved human, loved their weakness and their warmth. I could never ever turn them into one of us.
But master told me that the loved ones could be with me for ever by biting them on the neck. Just one bite and it will all be over.
Day after day I watched Amber silently, sat back and enjoyed her dances. I felt I possessed her as I used to possess Ruby. I liked it this way, she danced, I watched. She never knew me, but something connected us.
She grew more beautiful each day. Until one day, I saw her with a young man outside the theatre. They held hands and slowly strolling down the street. The street lamp hit the red amber, and it seemed to be glowing, prettier than ever. They walked and talked…and then kissed. I didn’t know how, but the anger aroused in me, struggling and roaring to burst. What do you humans know about love? How much longer can it last? A whole life? And how long is that?
Amber…she had that same smile on, just like the one Ruby had. Amber…Ruby…Why? Why is this happening? I was wrong, they were both common street woman after all.
The street lights faded into a small dot of white. Blood poured down my lips, the blood I loved, and it is now mine. I saw that Red Amber she always wore loosened; it left her neck for the first time, and it fell to the ground and smashed into tiny glittering pieces. But the pieces seemed dead and motionless, no longer flowing, but solid pieces of rock.
Moments flashed back in my mind, I could still see Amber dancing the dance of life, as if I was back to the moment I first met her.
I loved Amber. I loved her with a love that was beyond love, it was a love that no human could understand And I loved her to death.
中文翻译。（中文翻译只是为了理解，英文部分才是此文的精华所在。）
红湖泊。
她深红色的裙摆旋转摇动着，扫尽舞台的每一个角落。微红的面额与红琥珀一起在耀眼的灯光中闪烁。每一次温柔的挥手，每一个柔弱的脚步，都洋溢着生命力与激情。她脖子上挂的那块红琥珀闪光着左右摇摆，她把自己举在空气中舞动，就像一个高贵的仙女。那夺目的一抹红色映入眼帘。我从来没看见过如此浓郁的颜色，几乎…几乎以一种十分奇怪的方式触动了我。
我知道她令我想起一个人，一个很久以前认识的人。她唤醒了我心中的一种感觉，是我曾经有过的同一种感觉。
当她走向观众，鞠躬微笑的时候，我的心微微一颤。我可以看见她洁白的面容，却不失血色，很健康，很温暖。突然我好像看到了从前的幻影，同样的金发，同样甜美的微笑，当然，同样的红色。
对，就是她！红宝石…她看起来就像红宝石。我可以感到她的血液在我的血管中流淌。
尽管我最后一次见到红宝石是几百年前了，我仍然清晰地记得她的模样。笔直的金发，带有一丝丝棕色嵌杂在里面。还有她那深邃的蓝眼睛，几乎可以窥见一个人的灵魂。她是市区剧院的舞女，也就是唱歌和跳舞，和几百年后的现在的舞女们做的没有太大差别。 我总是去看她的演出，让我在不眠的黑夜保持忙碌，有给我白天的美梦。她每次演出都穿着华贵的红裙子，也许是因为她的名字，红宝石，她才格外喜欢红色。我也是，红色的是一个神秘的意义含糊的颜色，总能让我想起一些东西，让我想起我在变成现在这样之前最珍贵的东西，让我想起我在变成现在这样之后最需要的东西。让我想起沸腾的，倾泻的血液…….
红宝石，我真想知道她现在怎么样了。如果她还在的话，她会是那个在我面前跳舞的人，就像几百年前一样。但事实并非如此，她不在了。我当时没有选择，我必须那样做。我深爱的是她的生命，而我想要掌控的却是她的死亡。她只能是我的，她属于我的，除了我任何男人都不能拥有，因为没有人比我更爱她。
我爱她。我用所有的爱去爱她。我爱死她了。
但为什么要去谴责我呢？那是我唯一的选择，保持她高贵的尊严并同时满足我的欲望。我不能忍受她像别的男人调情，不能忍受她向人类调情。因为她只是我的。我一直在背后注视她，拥有她，当然，是以我自己的一种扭曲的方式。
是的，她应该对我报以感激的心。我太爱她以至于不能让她那样继续活着，她也对我太特殊以至于让我不能把她变成我们的同类。所以我喝掉了她的最后一滴血，不理睬她的叫喊与呻吟。我记得她的初拥*，在朦胧的月光下，那令人毛骨悚然的尖叫声…我不想再回忆了。但在某种程度上我给了她自由，给了她死亡的重生。
闪耀的琥珀又抓住了我的注意力，亮晶晶的红色，透着流动着液态的固体。只是我不知道她的名字，那么我就给她起一个名字吧。琥珀。红琥珀。
看着眼前舞动的身躯，我感到一种欲望，一种得到与拥有的欲望，就像我几百千年看见红宝石感到的欲望一样。但是这次，我会让她活着。
哦…琥珀……
也许这就是如何开始的，在不可抗拒的命运中转圈…….
琥珀虽然不是很出名，但很多人喜欢她的演出。她表演的时候，剧院经常坐满了人。每天晚上，我从棺材里走出，直接去剧院，坐在观众席的最前排。我喜欢她跳舞的方式，轻盈的舞步中传达着生的激情。她的舞蹈很神奇，唤醒我心中沉睡了很久的一丝温暖。
当我还是人类的时候，爱情是很纯洁的。但当我被一个吸血鬼腰了以后，它却变得肮脏纠结了。作为结果，我也变成了吸血鬼。我对于爱的感觉变得纷繁复杂。当然，吸血鬼的生活是很艰难的。我们总是要把生死爱恨血液和激情温暖和寒冷当作一个整体来看，而爱在这些复杂的感情中只是一个牺牲品，是一个我们人人渴望得到却把持不住的。当邪恶与欲望插手的时候，任何美丽的事物都回变得污秽与肮脏。
我的主人教过我如何捕捉猎物，他说我必须要显得很色情很诱人才能让猎物心甘情愿上钩。但我不需要，很多女人为了永远的青春而去乞求我去喝她们的血，吸血鬼是不会老的。我总是很鄙视这些女人，也很可怜他们，不懂得如何珍惜自己以人类活着的机会，而去做什么吸血鬼。
但也感谢这些愚蠢的女人，我就不用亲自去捕猎了。我总是喝我讨厌的人的血，从来不碰我爱的人。我爱她们因为她们是人类，我爱人类的弱小和对生命的热爱。我又怎能忍心将她们变成我们的同类呢。
但是我的主人说，只有喝她们的血，她们才会永远留在我身边。只要咬上一下，一切就解决了。
一天一天过去了，我每次都静静地看琥珀的演出，欣赏她的舞姿。我感觉我真正拥有她了，就像我曾经拥有了红宝石一样。我喜欢这样，她跳她的舞，我看着。她从来不认识我，但我们之间却有一种默契。
她也一天比一天美丽了。一切如常，直到有一天，我在剧院外面看见她和一个年轻人在一起。他们手挽手，在大街上漫步。街灯照射到她带的红琥珀上面，琥珀好像在放着荧光，格外美丽。他们边走边聊…然后接吻。我不知道怎么弄得，一种无名的愤怒在心中撕扯，企图发泄。你们人类对爱又有什么了解？你们所谓的爱又能持续多久？一生一世？那能有多久？
琥珀…她嘴角挂着微笑，就像红宝石曾经有的。琥珀…红宝石…为什么？为什么要这样发生？我错了，他们都是很平常的街头女人。
街灯暗淡下去，只留一个浅浅的白点。血液从我嘴角淌下来，这是我爱着的血液，而现在真正是我的了。她脖子上挂着的琥珀松开，第一次从她身上坠落，掉在地上，摔得粉碎。那些碎片毫无声息，不再像流动的液体，而是一些烂石头罢了。
往日的瞬间又清晰地呈现在我眼前，我似乎仍然能看见琥珀舞动的身姿，仿佛又回到了我第一次看见她的那一天。
我爱琥珀。我用一种高于爱的感情爱她，一种人类无法理解的爱。并且我爱死她了。
