[学生习作A]

　　My hobby is read books①。When I was seven years old.I became interested in reading books.I like needing books because there are a lot of useful things in books.I can learn a lot of knowledge from books. Books also② can teach me how to be a good person.Books even can solve many problems for me.I will read more good books to improve myself.

　　①改为reading books，动词作表语时应该用动名词。

　　②also的位置应放在can之后。

　　[点评]：档次9-11分。

　　①要点不全，漏掉最后一个要点。

　　②句子基本无误，能正确传递信息给读者但文章不流畅，句子与句子之间过渡不自然，给读者感觉在回答上述问题。

　　③有少量错误。

　　[学生习作B]

　　My hobby is reading.Reading books is very enjoyable.When I was young ，my mother used to tell me a story before.I went to bed every night.The stories were so interesting that I always felt they weren’t enough.So I began to read books by myself.Little by little I became interested in reading.I can learn much knowledge and many interesting things all over the world.When I read books，I can enjoy the beautiful sentences.At the same time I can improve my writing.I want to be a writer in the future，so I must study hard and read more books so that my dream can come true.

　　①开门见山、点题。

　　②真情流露，理由充分。

　　③文中带圈的连词使用得恰当，使文章过渡自然、

　　④巧妙使用句型以表决心。

　　[点评]：档次13-14分。

　　①清楚表达写作目的，要点齐全。

　　②语言表达灵活多样，字里行间流露出真情实感，文章有感染力。

　　③恰当使用连词和从句，语言流畅，且无错误，是一篇高质量的作文。