Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics1 class pulls a hamstring2.
One of life’s mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy can make a woman gain 5 pounds.
The best way to forget your fat is to wear tight shoes.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.
I gave up jogging for my health... when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting my tights3 on fire.
Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes!
Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like,“You know, sometimes I just forget to eat.” Now I’ve forgotten my address, my mother’s maiden name4, and my keys. But I’ve never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.
They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn’t all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said,“Body, how’d you like to go to the six o’clock class in vigorous toning5?” Clear as a bell my body said, “Listen witch... do it and die.”
I read this article that said the typical symptoms6 of stress are: eating too much, impulse7 buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.
1. aerobics n. 有氧健身操
2. hamstring n. 腿腱
3. tights n. 连裤袜
4. maiden name（女子的）婚前姓，娘家姓
5. toning n. 瘦身
6. symptom n. 症状
7. impulse n. 冲动