Jokes
笑话
 

Were You Gambling1?

你在赌博吗？

A priest, a minister and a rabbi2 are playing poker when the police raid3 the game.
“Father,” asks the officer, “were you gambling?”
“Of course not,” says the priest after saying a silent prayer for forgiveness.
　　“Pastor, what about you?”
　　After an appeal4 to heaven, he answers, “No, sir.”
　　Turning to the rabbi, the officer asks, “Rabbi, were you gambling?”
　　Shrugging his shoulder, the rabbi replies, “With whom?”

The Secret for A Long Life
 长寿秘诀

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. “I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look,” she said. “What’s your secret for a long and happy life?”
　　“I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day,” he said. “I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never exercise.”
　　“That’s amazing,” the woman said. “How old are you?”
　　“Twenty-six.”

Test for you 小测试
 

Which way is the bus below traveling... toward the left or the right? Can’t make up your mind? Look carefully at the picture again.

Answer: The bus is traveling to the left. Because you can’t see the door to get on the bus!

A Cartoon
卡通
 

“I try to eat healthy. I never sprinkle（洒） salt on ice cream, I only eat decaffeinated（脱去咖啡因的） pizza and my beer is 100% fat-free.”

1. gamble  ] v. 赌博
2. priest 指基督教的神父；minister指基督教新教牧师；rabbi 拉比（犹太教的会众领袖）。
3. raid [reid] v. 突然搜查
4. appeal  v. 求助，诉诸