A Thief and a Judge
A thief with a long record was brought before the judge.
Judge: Have you ever stolen things?
Thief: Oh, now and then.
Judge: And where have you stolen these things?
Thief: Oh, here and there.
Judge: Right. Lock him up, officer.
Thief: Hey, when do I get out jail?
Judge: Oh, sooner or later.

Three men are sitting in the waiting room of a hospital. A nurse walks over to the first one and says, “Congratulations. You’re the father of twins.”
“What a coincidence1,”he says. “I work for Twin Towers Bank.”
 A while later, the nurse comes out to congratulate the second man. “You are the proud father of triplets2,” she tells him.
“That’s funny,” says the new dad. “I work for AAA.”
The third expectant father jumps up, a look of terror on his face, and runs for the door.
“Sir, where are you going?” the nurse calls out.
He yells over his shoulder, “I work for 10,000 Auto Parts3.”
 

 

 

 

1. coincidence   n.巧合
2. triplet   n. 三胞胎
3. auto parts 汽车配件

4. dot n.  点
5. roll up 卷起
6. laterally  adv. 逆向思维地（以不合逻辑的方法思考）