Q: I've got a huge problem! I lie far too much. I don't know why I lie. I try not to but the lies just slip out. I've lied to everybody I know: my best friends, my parents, and my whole family! I've tried many times to stop, but I always end up lying. I really want to cure this, but how?
我爱撒谎。怎样才能改掉这个坏毛病?
A: It's great that you've realized you've got a problem—that's the first step to solving it. Since you haven't been able to stop lying on your own, you'll probably need some help. If you feel you can't talk to your parents about this, try a teacher or a school counselor1 you're comfortable with. Talking honestly about your lying will help you begin to understand what's behind it, and that will make it easier to stop. Some common motivations for lying are to feel more important, to avoid getting into trouble, and to protect someone else. Whatever the reason, changing your ways will take some effort, so get some help and get to work. If you really want to change, you can—and that's the truth!
Q: My friend is talking to this kid that she doesn't even know on the Internet. I've tried to talk to her, but I don't know what to say. I just don't want her to get into trouble. The guy is making weird2 comments like, “You're really hot,”and she keeps saying that she loves him. What should I do?
我朋友爱上网跟陌生人聊天且已陷入网恋。我该咋办?
A: You should be scared for her. Your friend is doing something that's very dangerous. No matter how well she thinks she knows this kid, she doesn't—and the person she's talking to might not even be a kid! There are grownups who use the Internet to prey on3 kids. She may be talking to a grown man who is trying to gain her trust so that he can lure4 her into a situation she doesn't want to be in. You do need to try to talk to her again. Let her know that you're scared for her. You also need to tell an adult what's going on, though. Your friend may end up angry with you for a while, but that's better than the guilt you'd feel if you didn't speak up and something had happened to her. And even if you lose her friendship, you'll know you did the right thing.
Q: I have a friend who has really bad body odor5. I'm not the only one who has noticed—a lot of people are pretty grossed out6 by it. I really want to tell him, but I don't want to hurt his feelings. I've known him a long time, and he is extremely sensitive. I don't want to do anything that might mess up7 our friendship. How should I tell him? Or should I not tell him?
我朋友有体臭。我想跟他明说却怕伤他的心。我是该说还是不该说?
A: Ooooh, this is a tough situation! But look at it this way: If it were you, would you want to find out months later that your friend knew you had this problem and didn't tell you? As his friend, you really must say something. The trick is to do so as gently as possible. First, make sure it's just the two of you—no little brothers or sisters listening at the door! Tell him that you think he's a great friend and that there's something you need to say that might be hard for him to hear, but that you've decided to speak up because if the situation were reversed, you'd want him to tell you. Make it clear that you don't mean to hurt his feelings in any way. Then take a deep breath and tell him that it might be time to start using deodorant8 and showering every day, because you've noticed that sometimes he seems to have a bit of body odor. By handling the situation tactfully9, you'll be able to keep your friendship.
Q: My best friend is beautiful, smart, funny, and a talented ice-skater. Sometimes I can't help feeling jealous. I know it's not fair t
我最好的朋友十分优秀。有时我情不自禁地嫉妒她,我知道这对她不公平。我该咋办?
A: You are right, it's totally unfair to resent her—unfair to both of you! Besides chipping away at11 your friendship, envy can steal your self-esteem and prevent you from building on your own best qualities.
How to deal with it? First, recognize that despite her awesome12 qualities, your friend is not perfect. Think about it: Sasha Cohen is a better ice-skater. Supermodels are prettier. No human being is perfect, and that means there's always someone else who's better at... well, whatever. Really, the biggest difference between you and your friend is that she isn't focusing her energy on jealousy.
1. counselor n. 辅导员
2. weird adj. (口)奇怪的,不可思议的
3. prey on 捕获
4. lure v. 引诱,诱惑
5. odor n. 气味,臭味
6. gross out 使作呕
7. mess up 毁灭
8. deodorant n. 除臭剂,解臭剂
9. tactfully adv. 圆通地,机敏地
10. resent v. 愤恨,怨恨
11. chip away at 削弱,损害
12. awesome adj. 令人敬畏的