These days it seems that      everybody is talking about our school. “Something is definitely wrong,” people  say, “Why,  kids can't even add!”
　　Well, I know why kids today can't add. It's because pa- rents can't do their kids' homework.
　　It was different in the old days, the days before N. M.(New Math)1. Kids, of course, just call it Math—they've never heard of the Old math. You see, in the old days homework was really simple. But not today!
　　Here's an example to show what I mean.
　　The other day my daughter brought home an assignment2. “I have to subtract3 179 from 202,”she said.
　　“It's quite simple,” I said.“You put the 202 over the 179.”
　　“But what do I do with the 10?”
　　“What 10?”
　　“The 10 that goes next to the 202.”
　　“I don't know what 10 goes next to the 202. Let's just subtract 179 from 202. Nine from two is three, and you carry one. Eight from zero is two. The answer is 23.”
　　“We can't do it that way. We have to use the 10.”
　　“I see. Well, the answer is still 23,” I said.
　　“How do you know?”
　　“Because I took nine from two and eight from zero. It's really very simple.”
　　“My teacher says you can't take nine from two because you can't borrow from something you don't give back to.”
　　“Well, I'm going to call your teacher to see how she subtracts 179 from 202.”
　　Over the telephone I explained that I was having a bit of trouble with the homework she had assigned. The teacher was very nice. “How good of you to take an interest,” she said. “It's really very simple. In the right-hand column4 we have units of one5. The two in that     column counts for  two  ones. The  zero in the center counts for zero tens. The two in the left-hand column counts for hundreds. Therefore, you have two hundreds, zero tens, and two ones. Clear so far6?”
　　“Yes,” I said. And I meant it. it was clear—so far. But I did think it was clearer just to say I had 202.
　　The teacher rattled7 on. “Now to subtract. Go to the hundreds column and start regrouping8. Two hundred will become 100. Therefore, bring this 10 to the tens, but you still can't subtract in the ones column. Of course, you know what to do.”
　　“Of course,” I said, not meaning it9. My head was beginning to ache.
　　“Ummm. Yes,” the teacher continued. “Regroup again. Now you have only nine tens. Take the 10 and bring it over to the ones column because 10 ones equals one. Now you have 12 ones. Do you understand?”
　　“What's there not to understand?”I said. There were lots10. But I wasn't going to let on to11 the teacher that I didn't understand. I simply said, “Thanks.” Then I added, “And now can I ask a very personal question?”
　　“Of course. Go right ahead.”
　　“Is the answer 23?”
　　“Yes. But if you were working in units other than ten, it could be something else.”
　　I hung up12 and found my way to the medicine chest13. My head was now pounding14. I started popping15 aspirin16 into my mouth. “How many did you take?” my wife asked.
　　“I took one and then I took another. One plus one used to equal two, but I don't ask me what it adds up to now.”

1． N．M (New Math) 数学并无“新旧”之分。请留心此处的幽默口吻
2． assignment  n． 作业任务
3． subtract  v．减去，减
4． column  n．（竖）列
5． units of one 个位 （hundreds百位数， tens十位数）
6． so far 到目前为止
7． rattle  v．喋喋不休地讲
8． regroup  v．重新组合
9． not meaning it 违心地说（点头）
10．lots＝lots of things not to understand
11．let on to (sb．) （向……）透露
12．hung(hang)up 挂断电话
13．chest  n．柜子
14．pound [paund] v． 猛烈跳动，猛击
15．pop  v．迅速放进
16．aspirin  n．阿斯匹林（治头痛常用药）