有的同学认为，英语听、说、读、写四个方面，写是最高阶段。其实，并不一定写一篇文章才算写，写贯穿于学习英语的全过程。英译汉、汉译英、连句成文、课文摘要、改写课文，直至命题写作或自由作文，无一不是写作。事实上，一篇短文说到底也就是若干句子的连贯组合。中学生经过六年学习，掌握了大约2500到3000个词条，对语法有了基本的了解，写一篇100字左右、没有大的错误的短文，按理说是没有什么问题的。
中学阶段的写作，基本上是控制性写作(controlled writing)。也就是说，在写作训练或测试时，有给定的内容，并限定了时间和字数。高考英语试题中的“书面表达”也属这种写作。
最近一位高二的学生根据2001年高考英语试题中的“书面表达”，试写了一篇短文让我修改。下面是我对她这篇习作的讲评，我想对她的同龄人有点参考价值。原题如下：
假设你是李华，你的澳大利亚朋友Dick听说中国的中小学正在减轻学生的学习负担，来信询问有关情况。请你根据下表提供的信息写一封回信，谈一谈减负给你的学习和生活带来的变化。
周末活动（减负前） 周末活动（减负后）
白天：上课，做作业 白天：参观博物馆，学习电脑，绘画等
晚上：做作业 晚上：看新闻，读书，看报
就寝时间：11:30 就寝时间：10:00
注意：1.词数：100左右；2. 开头已为你写好。生词：减负reduce learning load
Dear Dick,
How nice to hear from you again...
.......
Best wishes,
Li Hua
下面是这位同学的短文，其中的上标与后面的讲评相对应：
Dear Dick,
How nice to hear from you again. You said you wanted to know what about1 reducing learning load in China. Let me tell you.
Before reducing learning load2, we must have classes and do exercises in daytime and do homework at night, so we had to go to bed at 11:30. And all these were done on weekends.
But now it has been changed3, we can do everything we like on weekends. The same daytime4, we can visit the museum, have computer studies or practice drawing and so on. At night, we can watch news on TV, read books and newspapers and go to bed at 10:00. I feel happy and relaxed.
How about it in Australia5? I want to know6. Please write soon.
Best wishes,
Li Hua
1.what / how about...此句式主要用于征询对方的意见，而且仅用于口语中。例如：What/how about another cake? 再来一块饼干怎么样？How about going to the East Lake for a swim?到东湖去游泳怎么样？
2. “Before reducing learning load”这个介词短语在句中作状语，其逻辑主语是we，但原句we（学生）却是“减负”的执行对象，不是“reducing”这一动作的执行者。
3. It has been changed.这句话的It指什么？Things常用来表示“情况”。此句改为：But now things have changed.（现在情况改变了。）
4. The same daytime, we ...其原文想说“同样是白天，我们（比以前轻松多了）……”，但英语最好说in the daytime...，注意daytime前要加the。
5. How about it in Australia? 此句中的it 何所指？指“减负”吗？那么就应明确指出。可改成一般客套话，如：How are you getting on/along with your studies?
6. I want to know显得语气生硬，何况上一句就是问对方的近况，此句显得多余。再不然把两句拼成一句倒是可以的。如：I'd like to know how you're getting on/along with your studies.
现以原稿为基础，修正如下：
Date（e.g.： Sept.10)
Dear Dick,
How nice to hear from you again. In your letter you asked me how we felt after the heavy learning load had been reduced. Indeed we do have some changes as a result of this measure.
We used to have lessons and do classwork in the daytime, and continue with the homework in the evening. We couldn't go to bed until after 11:30 and imagine all these happened on weekends!
But now things have changed. We have time to visit museums, learn computer skills or enjoy drawing in the daytime. After supper, we watch TV news or read newspapers before going to bed at about 10:00.
How are you getting on with your studies? Please write soon.
Best wishes
Li Hua