1.Where is my mail?
此信非彼信
A blonde1 goes out to her mail box, looks in, closes the door and goes back into her house.
A few minutes later she comes out, goes to her mail box, looks in, closes the door and goes back into her house. She repeats this several times before a neighbour, who has been watching her, says to her, “You must be expecting a very important letter or package today.”
The blonde answers, “No, I'm working on my computer and it keeps telling me that I have mail.”
1． blonde n．金发碧眼女郎。这位女士以为mail是邮箱里的邮件。殊不知道电脑说的mail 是e－mail。老土之极也。
2.Honesty and wisdom
诚实与智慧
Millionaire: Son, to make it in business you've got to live by two principles1, honesty and wisdom.
Son: What do you mean by that, Dad?
Millionaire: Be honest in business. If you promise to do something, keep your word even if you have to go bankrupt2 to do it.
Son: And what about wisdom?
Millionaire: That's simple to explain, son. Never make any promises.
1．principle n．原则
2．bankrupt adj．破产的
3.Who said it?
谁讲的？
One Friday morning, a teacher came up with a new way to motivate1 her class. She told them that she would read a quote2 and the first student to correctly recognize who said it would receive the rest of the day off3. She started with “This was England's finest hour.”
Little Suzy immediately jumped up and said, “Winston Churchill4.”
“Congratulations!” said the teacher, “You may go home.”
The teacher then said, “Ask not what your country can do for you.”
Before she could finish this quote, another young lady calls out, “John F. Kennedy5”.
“Very good,” says the teacher, “you may go.”
Thinking that he has missed two good opportunities, little Johnny said, “I wish those girls would just shut up.”
Upon hearing this, the teacher demanded to know who said it.
Johnny immediately rose to his feet and said, “Bill Clinton6. I'll see you Monday.”
1． motivate v．激励
2． quote n．引用语，语录
3． receive the rest of the day off 今天剩下的时间放假
4． Winston Churchill 温斯顿·丘吉尔，二战时期英国首相
5． John F． Kennedy 约翰·肯尼迪，20世纪60年代美国总统
6． Bill Clinton 比尔·克林顿，美国前总统。Johnny 说 I wish those girls would just shut up， 意思是“我真希望这些小丫头片子闭嘴，以便我能有机会答题。”碰巧， 克林顿也讲过此话。这里作者借机讽刺克林顿和莱温斯基之间的丑闻。
4.I am or I is
究竟谁错了？
Teacher: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with “I”.
Student: “I ” is...
Teacher: No, Ellen. Always say, “I am...”
Student: All right... “‘I ’am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”