九. 累赘(Redundancy)
言以简洁为贵。写句子没有一个多余的词;写段落没有一个无必要的句子。能用单词的不用词组;能用词组的不用从句或句子。
病句:In spite of the fact that he is lazy, I like him.
本句的“the fact that he is lazy”系同谓语从句,我们按照上述“能用词组的不用从句”可以改为:In spite of his laziness, I like him.
病句: For the people who are diligent and kind, money is just the thing to be used to buy the thing they need.
剖析:整个句子可以大大简化。
改为:Diligent, caring people use money only to buy what they need.
十. 不连贯(Incoherence)
不连贯是指一个句子前言不对后语,或是结构上不畅通。这也是考生常犯的毛病。
病句: The fresh water, it is the most important things of the earth.
剖析:The fresh water 与逗号后的it 不连贯。It 与things 在数方面不一致。
改为:Fresh water is the most important thing in the world.