April Fools' Jokes|愚人节笑话经典

[关于人物的英语作文]

I Smell Something Fishy1

  On April 1, 1965, a professor told a television audience he had invented Smellovision—a device that could transmit smells right through the TV. He fooled viewers into sniffing2 their sets while he sliced3 onions and made a pot of coffee. Dozens fell for4 this tempting notion5 and even phoned to say they could smell the whole thing. (Don't try this at home—no one wants nose prints on the screen.)

A Hoax6 of Glacial7 Proportions8

  Why did a guy spend almost $ 1,500 to build a fake glacier and then tow9 it into Sydney Harbor in Australia? Well, why not? Goofy10 and pointless11 are good criteria for April Fools' gags12. Millionaire Dick Smith covered a barge13 with plastic sheet, then coated14 the entire thing with foam from a fire extinguisher15. He told local TV and radio stations that the mountain of ice originated from Antarctica16 and that he intended to chip the bergs17 into cubes18 and sell them for 10 cents each. Smith's reception was anything but frosty19—lots of people showed up to view the curiosity20 and fill their ice chests.

Hello?

  An old April fools' Joke called for telling people the phone company was planning to clean the dust out of the phone lines on April 1.
  Customers were advised to place a plastic bag over their receivers to catch any debris21 that might be blown out of the phone lines. This old gag got an update22 in 1997 when an e-mail made the rounds warning that the Internet would be shut down for a spring cleaning23 from midnight March 31 until the morning of April 2. According to the e-mail, the cleaning process would eliminate24 dead e-mail and abandoned Web sites, clearing the way for a “better-working and faster Internet.” The cleaning task would be performed by "powerful Internet-crawling robots" which would “delete25 any data they find.” Readers were urged to spread the word about the cleaning day and to prepare by disconnecting26 all computers and servers from the Internet.

Bought a National Treasure

  It was April Fools' Day in 1996 that Taco Bell announced to a stunned27 nation that it had just purchased the Liberty Bell. The proceeds28 from the sale would offset29 the national debt. The great bell would be officially renamed “The Taco Liberty Bell”.  Taco Bell assured the public that it would still be allowed to view the national treasure, and the fast food giant urged other American companies to do their part30 to reduce the burden of the national debt. Many people overlooked the date of the announcement and actually bought the story31.
Mom, Can I Keep Him?

  It's furry32, it's good-natured, and it fits in the palm of your hand—it's the Tasmanian mock walrus33! Readers of April 1, 1984, edition of a Florida's newspaper were charmed by the photos and description of this little creature, which, the paper reported, “purrs34 like a cat and gets around efficiently on four tiny paws. Best of all, the Tasmanian mock walrus lives on cockroaches35 and could eliminate a household's roach problem”. Too bad it was just a joke—dozens of people contacted the paper in search of the pets.

The Martians36 Are Coming!

  Sometimes, a harmless hoax can go out of control. It doesn't even have to be April. And it doesn't even have to be planned as a hoax.
  The night before Halloween37 in 1938, radio listeners were enjoying a broadcast of dance music when an announcer broke in to report that astronomers had seen blue flames shooting off Mars. The program was interrupted again and again, each announcement more alarming than the last. A spaceship had landed on Earth! Tentacled38 creature—Martians!—were coming out of the ship!
  Was it a practical joke39? No. It was meant only to be entertainment. Actor and radio personality40 Orson Welles wanted to treat listeners to “War of the Worlds,” a science fiction story by H.G. Wells. Instead of just reading the story, Welles thought it would be more dramatic to present it as a live newscast complete with scary sound effects41.
  It was definitely dramatic—but maybe too realistic. Despite four announcements that it was not real news, many listeners panicked42. Some loaded their cars with survival supplies, others hid in their basements to await the Martian invasion.
  Of the more than 6 million people who heard the broadcast, historians estimate fewer than 1 million actually panicked. Luckily no one was injured or harmed as a result of the broadcast.


闻到鱼腥味了

  1965年4月1日,一位教授对电视观众说他发明了“电视嗅视仪”—— 一种可以通过电视传送各种气味的装置。在电视上,他又是切洋葱,又是沏咖啡,骗得观众们使劲儿去闻电视机。还真有几十个人被这诱人的小玩艺儿迷住了,竟然打来电话说他们全闻到了。(在家里可别试——没人喜欢电视屏幕上尽是鼻子印儿。)

牛皮吹到冰山大

  有个小伙子花了将近1,500美元造了一座假冰山,还把它拖进了澳大利亚的悉尼港。 你问他为什么要这么做?可是,为什么不这么做呢?犯傻、瞎胡闹,不就是愚人节笑话的很好标准吗?百万富翁迪克·史密斯把一艘驳船罩上一层塑料薄膜,再在上面用灭火器喷上泡沫。他告诉当地电视台和电台说,这座冰山来自南极,他打算把它凿成一小块儿一小块儿的,每块儿卖一毛钱。史密斯的招待会可是够热闹——很多人都来了,为了看稀奇,也想把自己家里的冰柜填满。

喂?

             一个愚人节老笑话说,一家电话公司打电话告诉人们,公司准备在4月1日这天把电话线里的灰尘除掉,建议用户用塑料袋套在听筒上,接住从电话线里吹出来的碎屑。1997年这个笑话有了新的版本,说是有份电子邮件到处提醒人们,从3月31日午夜到4月2日早晨,互联网将关闭,进行一次大清理。据这份电子邮件说,这一清理过程将会清除所有废旧邮件和无用的网址,腾出空间,以使互联网“运行更好,网速更快。”清理工作将由“在互联网上爬行的大功率自动仪器”进行,这些自动仪器会“把找到的所有数据删除”。这封邮件还请大家相互转告清理日期,并把电脑、服务器与互联网断开,作好准备。

买了一件国宝

  1996年4月1日愚人节这天,美国快餐连锁店塔科·贝尔公司宣布了一个令举国上下大吃一惊的消息:它买下了“自由钟”(美国独立战争时的报警大钟,在费城)。售钟所得将用来抵销国债。大钟将正式重新命名为“塔科自由钟”。塔科·贝尔公司向公众保证,人们可以一如往常参观这一国宝,还敦请其他美国公司各尽其能,减轻国债负担。许多人忽略了发布消息的日子,对这事儿信以为真。

妈,我能养它吗?

  毛绒绒,性情温柔,正好巴掌大小——这就是塔斯马尼亚袖珍海象!1984年4月1日,人们被佛罗里达一家报纸上关于一个小家伙儿的图片和文字迷住了。报纸上说,它“喵呜喵呜的叫声像只猫,四只小爪子跑起来可快啦。最妙的是,塔斯马尼亚袖珍海象靠吃蟑螂为生,可以消除家里的蟑螂之害。”遗憾的是,这只是个玩笑——不过还是有好几十人和报纸联系过,想找到这种宠物。

火星人来了!

  有时候,无害的把戏也可能变得无法收拾。还不一定要在四月份。也不一定是为了把人戏弄一番。
  1938年万圣节前两天夜里,人们正欣赏着收音机里的一首舞曲。突然,播音员插进来播送一条消息:天文学家目睹火星上有蓝色火焰射出。舞曲一再被这条消息打断,播报一次比一次骇人听闻:一艘太空飞船在地球上着陆!有触角的生物——火星人——正走出飞船!
  这是恶作剧吗?不是。原本是为了娱乐大家。电影兼电台名星奥森·威尔斯想请大家听H·G·威尔士的科幻小说《星球大战》。他不是念念故事而已。他想,要是配上吓人的音响效果,以实况形式播出,肯定会更有戏剧性。
  毫无疑问,很有戏剧性——不过也许太逼真了。尽管四次声明,这不是新闻,许多人还是惊惶失措。一些人把救生用品装满了小汽车,还有些人躲进地下室,等着火星人的入侵。
       历史家们估计,在收听这条消息的六百多万人里,有略低于一百万的人真的吓坏了。幸好没有人因为这条广播而受到伤害。
 

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1. fishy  adj. 味道像鱼的;[俚] 可疑的;此处双关,既指“我闻到鱼腥味了”,又指“这事可疑”。
2. sniff [snif]   v. 用力吸
3. slice [slais]  v. 切片
4. fall for 上当
5. tempting   adj. 诱人的;
notion   n. 精巧的小玩意儿
6. hoax   n. 骗局
7. glacial   adj. 冰(山)的
8. proportion   n. [复] 体积,大小
9. tow   v. 拖
10. goofy   adj. 傻的
11. pointless   adj. 无意义的
12. gag   n. 笑话
13. barge  n. 驳船
14. coat   v. 裹上
15. fire extinguisher    灭火器
16. Antarctica  n. 南极
17. berg  = iceberg  n. 冰山
18. cube  n. 小方块
19. anything but frosty  绝非冷冰冰的
20. curiosity   n. 稀罕物品
21. debris n. 碎屑
22. update   n. 最新版本
23. spring cleaning  大扫除
24. eliminate   v. 消除
25. delete   v. 删除
26. disconnect   v. 断开
27. stun   v. 大吃一惊
28. proceed  n. [复] 收益,收入
29. offset  v. 抵销
30. do one's part  尽自己一份力量
31. buy the story  相信了这个故事。 buy [俚] 相信

32. furry   adj. 毛皮的
33. Tasmanian mock walrus    塔斯马尼亚(澳大利亚一地区)小海象。 mock  adj. 模拟的
34. purr   v. (猫等)呜呜叫
35. cockroach  n. 蟑螂
36. Martian   n. 火星人
37. Halloween   n. 万圣节前夜
38. tentacled   adj. 有触手的
39. practical joke   恶作剧
40. personality n. 名人
41. live newscast complete with scary sound effects 此句意为:现场新闻广播配有吓人的音响效果。
42. panic  v. 惊慌