What do Harrison Ford, Mel Gibson, Michelle Pfeifer and Phil Collins all have in common1? They were all bullied2 at school.
If you're being bullied, it doesn't mean there is something wrong with you.
You have a right to feel safe and secure3. If you are being bullied at school, it is the school's responsibility to stop it. If you are being harassed4 or attacked outside of school, the police have a responsibility to help you.
The bully is the one with the problem
A lot of bullies are already being bullied themselves. They feel powerless and so they look for ways to feel tough5 at school or on the street.
Often, the bully is jealous of other kids, so he picks on6 those who are cleverer, or those kids who have cool gear7 or more money.
Usually, bullies don＇t like themselves, so they take out their frustrations8 on someone else, e．g． you．
What can you do?
* Look calm and confident even when you are not! You can practice this in the bathroom mirror.
* If possible, ignore9 the bully. Bullies want a reaction—if you don't seem upset10 or angry, they'll often leave you alone11.
* Walk away. Just because a bully starts an argument doesn't mean you have to hang around12 and finish it.
* Avoid being alone. Bullies are cowards13 who only pick a fight when they know they can win. If you are with friends, they are more likely to leave you alone.
Get help!
Tell an adult you can trust. This doesn't mean you are weak. In life you often need to get help from other people. When you have a broken leg, you get help from a doctor—it doesn't mean you are weak. If you are being bullied you also get help. Bullies want you to keep quiet. When you speak up14, you refuse to play the bully's game. Telling others about the problem is a brave move.
Keep a diary of what is happening. When you tell a teacher, a friendly adult, or the police, you need to have the facts: when, where and what happened. Keep to15 the facts. Avoid exaggerating16. Keep telling people about the problem. If the first teacher doesn't help, tell another and another. If the first adult doesn't help, tell another. If the first policeman doesn't help, tell another. Persist17.
When you see other people being bullied
If you do nothing, you send a message to the bully that it is OK with you. So what can you do?
Tell the bully to stop it.
Tell other people about it.
Encourage the person who is being bullied to tell others about it.
Be a friend to the person who is being bullied. It may not mean much to you, but it can mean the world18 to the person who feels scared and alone.
Brand Names
Imagine this scene from a movie. A guy and girl are embracing19 in the moonlight.
She says, “Brad, I have to know. Why do you love me?”
And he says, “Because you wear Nikes.”
How stupid is that?
Do your friends wear “brand names” on their jeans, belts, underwear20? Maybe you think having brand names is a matter of life and death21. It isn't.
If your friend Jim wears three hundred dollar sneakers, all it means is that his parents had a spare three hundred dollars. What does that have to do with you? Does that make Jim any better than you? No!
There will always be people around who wear clothes, drive cars and live in houses that you can't afford. Get used to it.
What really counts22 is who you are and what you stand for. It's what's on the inside, not what's on the outside.
In a nutshell
If you think it really matters, then it really matters. As soon as you say, “it doesn't matter,” you can relax.
哈里森·福特、梅尔·吉布森、米歇尔·法伊弗和菲尔·柯林斯有什么共同之处？他们都在学校被人欺负过。
如果你在被人欺负，这并不说明你有什么错。
你有权感到平平安安。要是你在学校给人欺负了，学校就有责任制止这件事。要是你在校外受到骚扰或攻击，警察就应该帮助你。
欺负你的人才有问题。
很多欺负别人的人自身正在受人欺负。他们感到无力反抗，所以就设法到学校或街头寻找那种自己很厉害的感觉。
通常，欺负别人的人是嫉妒别的孩子，所以就在那些比他聪明的人身上找茬儿，或者跟那些穿得帅气、有钱的孩子过不去。
一般来说，欺负别人的人不喜欢自己，所以就拿别人出气，比如说你。
怎么办？
*即便你不冷静、不自信，也要表现出冷静和自信！不妨对着卫生间的镜子练习练习。
*尽量不把他们当回事儿。这些人需要的是反应——如果你看上去既不烦恼也不生气，他们通常都会放过你。
*回避。仅仅因为他挑起事端，并不说明你就必须留下来奉陪到底。
*不要独来独往。欺负别人的人其实都是懦夫，有把握赢才会滋事。如果你跟朋友在一起，他们很可能就放过你。
寻求帮助
告诉一个你信得过的大人。这不是说你软弱。生活中你经常需要得到他人的帮助。腿断了要医生帮助——这不是说你软弱。如果有人欺负你，也可以寻求帮助。他们希望你保持沉默。你说出来，就说明你不吃他们那一套。把事情告诉别人是一种勇敢的举动。
把发生的事情记在日记里。如果你告诉老师、好心的大人或警察，必须有事实根据：什么时候，在什么地方发生了什么事。有一说一，有二说二。不要夸大其辞。不断地跟别人讲。第一个老师不帮你，就跟第二个、第三个老师讲。第一个大人不帮你，就跟第二个大人讲。第一个警察不帮你，就跟第二个警察讲。坚持不懈。
发现有人受欺负时
如果你毫无反应，就是向恃强凌弱者发出信号：你对这种行为是认可的。那么你该怎么办呢？
叫他住手。
把事情告诉别人。
鼓励被欺负的人把事情告诉别人。
跟被欺负的人做朋友。这对你也许是举手之劳，但对于那个害怕的、孤单的人来说可能是天大的好事。
商标名
想像一下电影里出现这么一幕。男孩和女孩在月下拥抱。
女孩说，“布拉德，我要知道，你为什么爱我？”
男孩说，“因为你穿的是耐克。”
这话有多蠢？
你朋友的牛仔裤、皮带和内衣上有“商标名”吗？或许你以为有商标名是生死攸关的大事。其实不然。
如果你的朋友吉姆穿了一双三百元的运动鞋，这只能说明他父母能拿出三百元给他。这跟你有什么关系？是不是吉姆就比你强了？不是！
身边总会有人穿得比你好，开的车比你好，住的房子比你好，这些东西你买不起。要习以为常。
真正有价值的是你是什么样的人，你代表的是什么。重要的是内心，不是外表。
简言之
如果你认为什么有关系，那就真的有关系。一旦你说“没关系”，你就能做到放松。
1. in common 共通，共同
2． bully v． 威吓，欺负
3． secure adj． 安全
4． harass v． 骚扰
5． tough adj． 强硬的，凶恶的
6． pick on sb． 找某人的茬儿
7． gear n． 行头，衣着
8． frustration n． 沮丧，失落
9． ignore v． 忽视，不理
10． upset adj． 心烦意乱
11． leave sb． alone 放开某人
12． hang around 逗留，闲逛
13． coward n． 懦夫
14． speak up 说出来
15． keep to sth． 坚持
16． exaggerate v． 夸大
17． persist v． 坚持
18． mean the world 有重大关系
19． embrace v． 拥抱
20． underwear n． 内衣
21． a matter of life and death 生死攸关的事
22． count [kaunt] v． 有价值，重要