“Stress is not necessarily a bad thing,” explains Kendrick, now a licensed1 psychotherapist2. He says stress helps you harness3 your energies and achieve goals. But what about the other kind of stress? The kind that makes you feel anxious just thinking about the chores4, homework, sports, music lessons and other responsibilities you have to juggle5?
What To Do?
Perhaps you're worried about a family member or friend who is ill. Your mom and dad talk about how money is tight, or one of them is worried about losing a job. Any of these worries can raise the level of stress you feel personally and the stress you feel around you.
Psychologist6 Jean Twenge points to two “fear factors” that cause the most stress in kid's lives: feeling alone and unconnected, and seeing the world as an increasingly dangerous place. World politics and family life, too, are matters that kids simply can't control.
That anxiety can lead to lack of sleep, feelings of hopelessness7 and even illness. If you're lucky, these “fear factors” don't play a big role8 in your life. Living and growing up in a healthy way today takes more work, more personal strength and more energy than ever before.
Tools to Tame9 Bad Stress
Psychotherapist Carleton Kendrick offers four basic strategies10 for managing the stress in everyday life.
State the Problem: When you feel worried, one tried-and-true11 way to begin to feel better is to make a list.
Take a sheet of paper and draw a vertical12 line down the center of it. Label13 the left-hand column “What Bothers me.” Make a list and number each item. Then label the right-hand column “What I Am Most Afraid Will Happen Because of it” and list the feeling each item in the left-hand column gives you. Separating the causes from the feelings helps you get to the root of what's bothering you.
Find An Ally14: Share your list with someone you can trust, such as a family member, teacher or school counselor15.
Talking through what's bothering you helps you in many ways.
You no longer have to feel alone with your problems, and the person you confides in16 may give you sympathy17, support and back you up18 as you work to battle the stress. He or she might even help you talk to your parents or teachers and set more manageable priorities19.
Set Priorities: Many families have a list of chores and expectations. If not, create one for the coming week that lists all that you are expected to do. Look at this list and ask yourself: What do I have to do? (such as do homework, go to school) and What do I like to do? (sports, music, art, being with friends).
Finally, ask: What items on this list can go? With your ally's help, talk to your parents about ways to balance the “musts” with the “likes.”
Cool Out20: Catching more z's21 can soothe22 stress, studies show. A Brown and Columbia universities 2002 study of 138 third graders showed that kids who get at least 10 hours of sleep deal better with everyday problems. A National Sleep Foundation report points out that teens, too, need more rest: Lack of sleep can harm their emotional well-being and make them less able to handle stress.
Exercise and a healthy diet build stronger bodies and stress-resistance, too. Stay in shape!
Don't think dealing with stress is easy, or that experts expect you to master your stress after reading this article.
“Talking about what bothers you, and trying to take action to change it takes courage,” admits Kendrick. “But believe me, you'll be doing yourself and your family a big favor. Your ability to be honest clears the way for your parents to help you to be a happier, less stressed family.”
“压力不一定是坏事”，持有心理医师执照的肯德里克解释说。他说压力有助于我们利用自己的能量实现目标。不过要是另一种压力呢？只要一想到家务、家庭作业、运动、音乐课和其他必须履行的职责就焦虑，这种压力怎么办？
怎么办？
也许你为生病的家人或朋友担心。你爸爸妈妈谈论家用如何紧张，或者其中一个担心失去工作。这些烦恼都会给你个人和身边的人增加压力。
心理学家琼·特温基指出，有两种“恐惧因素”给孩子的生活造成最大的压力：一是感到孤独无靠，二是觉得世界越来越危险。世界政治和家庭生活也是孩子们无能为力的事。
这种焦虑会引起睡眠不足、绝望甚至疾病。如果你运气好，这些“恐惧因素”不会对你的生活产生很大的影响。如今，要健康生活和成长需要比以前下更大的工夫，花更大的气力和精力。
缓解不良压力的办法
心理医师卡尔顿·肯德里克提出四种对付日常生活压力的基本策略。
摆问题：当你感到担忧的时候，有一个屡试不爽的办法可以让你稍感慰藉：列清单。
拿出一张纸来，在中间自上而下画一条直线。把左边一栏标为“我的烦恼”。将烦恼一条条地列出来，标上序号。然后把右栏标为“我最怕烦恼引起的事”，将左栏各种烦恼引起的感受一一写下来。
把原因和感受分开有助于找到烦恼的根源。
找伙伴：跟你信得过的人讨论这份清单，家人、老师或学校辅导员都可以。跟别人逐一谈论这份清单可以起到许多作用。
你再也不必独自面对那些问题，你把心事告诉你信任的人，他/她会同情你、支持你，协助你攻克压力。他/她甚至会帮你找家长谈，找老师谈，分出轻重缓急，采取更为可行的减压步骤。
分轻重：许多家庭都有一份家务清单和期望清单。如果你们家没有，你不妨开一份下周的清单，把家里要你做的事全都列出来。对照清单问问自己，哪些是我必须做的（比如做作业、上学）？哪些是我喜欢做的（比如运动、音乐、艺术、跟朋友玩儿）？
最后，问你自己：清单上的事哪些可以不做？在伙伴的帮助下，找父母谈谈怎样才能在必须做和喜欢做这两者之间求得平衡。
放轻松：研究表明，多睡一会儿能缓解压力。布朗大学和哥伦比亚大学2002年对138名小学三年级学生所做的一项研究表明，每天至少睡10小时的孩子能更好地处理日常问题。国家睡眠基金提交的一份报告指出，十几岁的孩子同样需要多休息：睡眠不足会有损他们的情感，降低他们应付压力的能力。
锻炼和健康饮食同样能造就更强健的体魄，增强抗压能力。要保持身体健康哟！
不要以为对付压力很简单，也不要以为专家指望你看了这篇文章就能把握压力。
“谈论你的烦恼并设法采取行动改变它是需要勇气的，”肯德里克承认。“不过请相信，这样做你会帮自己和家人一个大忙。如果你能开诚布公地谈论自己的烦恼，你父母就会更好地帮助你，使你成为一个更快乐、更放松的孩子。”
1． licensed adj． 有执照的
2． psychotherapist n． 心理治疗师
3． harness v． 利用
4． chore n． 日常事物（尤其是家务）
5． juggle v． 同时应付（几件事）
6． psychologist n． 心理学家
7． hopelessness n． 绝望
8． to play a role 起作用
9． tame [teim] v． 驯服，制伏
10． strategy n． 策略
11． tried－and－true adj． 屡试不爽的
12． vertical adj． 垂直的
13． label v． 标记
14． ally n． 同盟，伙伴
15． counselor n． 辅导员，教导员
16． to confide in sb 相信某人，跟某人交心
17． sympathy n． 同情
18． to back sb up 支持
19． priority n． 重点，优先
20． to cool out 放松
21． to catch some z＇s （口）睡会儿觉
22． soothe v． 缓解