Did you ever race into a public toilet that smelt so bad you wanted to choke1? But you were so despearte2 to go to the bathroom3 that you had no choice.
Did you notice something? By the time you left five minutes later, it didn't smell quite so bad!
And what if you accidentally4 locked yourself in there for an hour? You'd be saying, “What smell?”
What's the principle here? That we get used to whatever environment we＇re in.
If you don't smoke, and no one around you smokes, you never even think of smoking. But if all your friends smoke, and you hang out5 in smoky bars, you get used to it. Sooner or later you're smoking!
If your friends tell lies, in the beginning it worries you. After a while, you get used to the fact that some people tell lies. Hang out with them long enough and you begin telling lies.
Hang out with miserable people, you become miserable—and you think it's normal! Mix6 with critical7 people, you become critical—and you think it's normal.
If you hang out with friends who are happy and motivated8, then you become happy and motivated—and you think that is normal.
Don't kid yourself that you aren't affected by your friends.
If your family or friends are negative and miserable, then you will need to find some positive, happy friends. Somewhere in your life, you must have some positive company—or the pessimists9 will drag you down10—and you won't even know it's happening. In a Nutshell11
Every day we are affected and infected12 by the people and attitudes around us. Sometimes we need to take action—or change friends while we can still say, “Something smells around here!”
What Others Think
Rule＃1: Everyone won＇t agree with you．
Rule＃2: It＇s okay．
Rule＃3: Everyone won＇t like you．
Rule＃4: That＇s okay too． You won＇t die!
Do you care what other people think? Sure! We all do. We all want other people to think we are cool, smart, attractive and fun. But everyone is not going to like you. What do you do? Get over it!
Trying Too Hard
Have you ever wondered why everyone loves babies? It's partly because babies don't care whether you like them or not. Babies eat, scream, make noises and make smells, and they don't care.
Babies don't try to impress people. When you are a baby, you don't have to be cool or intelligent or sexy or smart.
Isn't it fascinating! Babies don't care what we think about them—and we love them for it. There is something to learn from this. Be yourself. This doesn't mean you should be rude or selfish. It does mean there's such a thing as trying too hard.
Don＇t Be Too Desperate．．．
EXAMPLE1: Mary is desperate for a boyfriend to adore13 her. While she is so frantic14, is she likely to find him? Not really. Firstly, her desperation will scare all the guys away. Secondly, while she is desperate, she is not so lovable.
EXAMPLE2: You meet someone cute15 at a party and she tells you, “I'll call you next week.” So you don't go anywhere for a week—not even to the bathroom! You sit by the phone...and wait. Who calls? Everyone but her. When you sit around16 and wait for things, it seems they almost never happen.
What do we learn from this? Never put your life on hold for anybody. Live your life in the present. Stay busy. Don't hold your breath for anybody or anything.
If you are waiting for a boyfriend to call, or waiting for a response to a job application17, or a cheque in the mail, get on with your life.
All this defies18 logical explanation—but you probably recognize this principle in your own life. While you are desperate for something or somebody, nothing happens.
Being Scared of People
Has this ever happened to you? There's a new kid in school—we'll call him Joe.
On Joe's first day you see him in the corridor, and you want to say, “Hello!” but you think to yourself. “I'll only say 'Hello' if he says 'Hello' first.”
But he doesn't say “Hello” so you don't say “Hello”, and at the end of the day you say to yourself, “He's not very friendly!” Next day you decide, “I'll say 'Hello', but only if he does.” But Joe doesn't speak, so you don't.
By the third day, you start playing games. You pretend not to notice each other. You pass him in the corridor—he pretends to look at the ceiling, you pretend to study the floor.
After a week, you say to yourself, “I don't like him anyway.”
Meanwhile, what was Joe thinking all the time? “I'll say 'Hello" if he says 'Hello'.” While you were scared to talk to Joe, he was scared to talk to you!
On the outside19 people often look very cool. But nobody is as confident as they look. On the inside20 they worry about all the things you might worry about...“ Am I smart enough? Am I slim enough? Have I got a big nose?”
In a Nutshell
You don't need to be scared of people. Half the time, they are scared of you!
跑步上公厕的事你干过没有？厕所里气味好难闻，呛得你连气都喘不过来。但是情况紧急，你还非去不可。
你注意到没有？五分钟后再出来，好象并不是很难闻嘛！
要是你一不小心在里面关上一个小时又会怎么样呢？你也许会说，“哪有什么怪味？”
这说明了什么道理？这说明不管环境怎样，人都会逐渐适应。
如果你不抽烟，周围也没人抽烟，你压根儿就不会想抽。但如果你的朋友都抽，你还经常去那些烟雾缭绕的酒吧，你渐渐就习惯了，迟早会上瘾！
如果你朋友撒谎，一开始你还担心。用不了多久，再有人说谎，你就习以为常了。跟这些人呆的时间一长，你也会开始撒谎。
老跟愁眉苦脸的人在一起，你也会变得愁眉苦脸，还以为这很正常！总和喜欢挑剔的人交往会变得很挑剔，还以为挑剔别人很正常！
结交心情舒畅、积极向上的朋友，那么你也会心情开朗、追求上进，以为正常的生活就是这样。
不要骗自己说朋友对你没有影响。
如果亲友消极悲观，郁郁寡欢，那么你需要找些积极向上、性情快活的朋友。人这一生，乐天的朋友不可少，否则悲观者会害得你意志消沉，而你还浑然不觉。
简言之
我们每天都会受到周围人和态度的影响。有时我们需要采取行动，或者结交新朋友，趁我们还能说“这儿有股怪味！”的时候。
别人怎么看
规则1：不会每个人都同意你的看法。
规则2：这没什么。
规则3：不会每个人都喜欢你。
规则4：这也没什么。该怎么过还怎么过。
你在乎别人怎么看吗？当然！谁都在乎。谁都希望别人说自己帅气、聪明、可爱、有趣。但不会每个人都喜欢你。怎么办？想开点！
太刻意行事
你想过没有，为什么大家都喜欢婴儿？原因之一是婴儿不在乎你喜不喜欢他，想吃就吃，想叫就叫，想闹就闹，想拉屎放屁就拉屎放屁，全不在乎。
婴儿不会刻意讨人喜欢。人在婴儿时期不必帅气、聪明、性感或机灵。有意思吧？婴儿不在意别人怎么看——大家就喜欢他这一点。
这里有一点值得我们学习：保持你的本色。这不是说你应当行为粗鲁、为人自私，而恰恰说明我们有时候过于刻意行事。
凡事不要操之过急
例1：玛丽迫切希望有个爱她的男朋友。她这么狂热，能找到男朋友吗？不见得。她这么迫切会把所有男生吓跑。其次，心情一迫切她就不那么可爱了。
例2：有一次聚会你见到一位靓妹，她对你说：“我下星期给你打电话。”于是这一个星期你哪儿也不去，连厕所也不上！你坐在电话机旁苦苦等待。谁打电话来了？我打了，他打了，偏偏她没打。在你无所事事坐等的时候，该发生的似乎从不会发生。
从中可以悟出什么道理？千万不要为了谁而无所事事。人应生活在现在，不能闲着，不能为了某人某事连空气都不呼吸。
假如你在等男朋友的电话、求职的结果或者寄来的支票，该干什么干什么。
这一切无法从逻辑上加以解释，但你在自己的生活中很可能认识到了这一原则。你眼巴巴地等着某人某事出现，结果什么都没发生。
怕人
你碰到过这种事没有？学校来了一位新同学，就叫他乔吧。
乔头一天上学，你在走廊上见到他，想对他说：“你好！”但又心想：他先跟我打招呼，我才打招呼。
但是乔没跟你打招呼，于是你也没跟他打招呼。放学的时候你心想：他不很友好！第二天，你下了决心：我会跟他说“你好”，但前提是他先这么做。不过乔没有开口，于是你也没说话。
第三天，你们开始玩游戏。你假装没注意他，他假装没注意你。走廊上你从他身边走过，他装着看天花板，你装着看地板。
一星期后，你心想：我反正不喜欢他。
与此同时，乔一直是怎么想的呢？“如果他跟我打招呼，我就跟他打招呼。”你怕跟乔说话，乔也怕跟你说话！
表面上人们通常显得很沉着，但没人像外表那样自信。内心里他们跟你一样，这个也担心，那个也害怕……我够不够聪明？我够不够苗条？我鼻子是不是很大？
简言之
你不用怕人。多半情况下别人也怕你！
1． choke v． 窒息
2． desperate adj． 绝望的，危急的
3． bathroom n． （委婉语）厕所
4． accidentally adv． 偶然地，不经意地
5． hang out （俚语）经常出没
6． mix vi． 交往
7． critical adj． 好批评的，挑剔的
8． motivated adj． 有动机的
9． pessimist n． 悲观者
10． drag down 使衰弱
11． in a nutshell 简要地
12． infect v． 对人有不良影响
13． adore vt． 爱慕
14． frantic adj． 狂热的
15． cute adj． 漂亮的
16． sit around 闲坐不干活
17． application n． 申请
18． defy ] vt． 使不可能
19． on the outside 表面上
20． on the inside 内心里