The Big 5
Having fun ＋ good friends ＋ a sense of security ＋ a feeling of belonging ＋ a sense of achievement ＝ Happiness
开心+好友+安全感+归属感+成就感=快乐的五大秘诀
Think you can't be happy? You'll think again after reading this story.
Barbara Ann Kipfer hated her feet. They were too big and she always seemed to trip over1 them when someone was watching—usually a cute2 guy. Come to think of it, her teeth were too big, too. And she hated her glasses. And the way the other kids teased3 her. They made fun of her because of the way she looked and because she wanted to be a sportswriter someday. No matter what she did, she was teased for being “different.”
That's when she started writing down things that she liked in a notebook. “It was like a friend, and it reminded me that there are good things, even though everything around me is crummy,4” she says. She copied the list over and over, adding new things every day.
One day, she decided to share her list with some of the girls in her class, hoping they would think it was as much fun as she did. But instead, they make her feel stupid again. “They laughed at me,” she remembers,“I was mortified5, and I stopped doing it.”
Here comes the cool part. When she was in 10th grade, Kipfer found her old notebook and decided to pick up where she left off6. “It was like a diary, like a photograph of my life,” she says. She got more and more attached to7 her list of happy things, and she wondered if maybe the girls in her sixth-grade class had been wrong. She started writing to publishers, asking them if they'd be interested in printing her list as a book.
She kept writing to one company in particular8, because she liked the types of books it printed. She wrote to the publisher year after year. “He kept saying, 'It's just a list, what am I supposed to do with it?' ” she explains. “And I said, 'You're not supposed to do anything with it. It's just supposed to remind people of something9 they did that was really fun.' ”
Finally, the publisher agreed to turn Kipfer's list into a book. And the same notebook that her sixth-grade tormentors10 laughed at sold more than 1 million copies! 14,000 Things to Be Happy About even made it to the New York Times11 Best Sellers12 list, and it's been translated into seven languages. Besides being a best-selling author, Kipfer also went to fulfil13 her dream of becoming a sports editor at the Chicago Tribune.14
We asked Barbara Ann Kipfer to share her thoughts on happiness.
What＇s the secret to being happy?
“People always say this really simplistic15 thing: be yourself. My mom used to say it all the time, and I used to think that was terrible advice—but it turns out it wasn't! If there are things that are important to you, you can't give up. Here I was, hiding this list all those years. If only I'd been able to say, 'I don't care, it doesn't bother me' when people thought it was dumb16, I would have saved myself a lot of misery17.”
Come on! You remember what it＇s like to be in junior high, don＇t you?
“I remember those days quite distinctly18. They were hard. There was this book in the library called How to Be Popular, and I checked it out over and over and over, and it didn't help me one bit. But here's what I know: Happiness is a day-to-day thing. Instead of spending time worrying about the future or agonizing19 about the past and things you wish you'd done differently, look at the things that are out there today. Keep track of 20a few things that are good. It's a matter of choice whether you're going to be happy or not. There are going to be hard things, but whether that's the only thing you remember, that's your choice.”
What are two things that contribute to21 happiness?
"The main thing is appreciating22 each day and the moment you're in right now. It's looking around and seeing something good, like your computer's still on and it hasn't blown up23. Second follow what interests you, even if it's different from what everyone else seems to be interested in. For me, it was following sports writing in high school even though no other girls were doing it.”
What are two things that make someone unhappy?
“The first thing is not seeing that you have control over your best friend, 'You hurt my feelings.' But she didn't hurt your feelings; you chose to feel that way about something she said. Second is always thinking, 'If I could just have that boyfriend or that outfit, then I'd be happy.' But it never works out24 because it's very momentary25 and then you want something else. It's looking outside yourself for things to make you happy when happiness comes from inside.”
1. trip over 绊倒
2． cute adj． 聪明的；（此）cool
3． tease v． 逗弄，取笑
4． crummy adj． 肮脏的，劣等的
5． mortify v．使感到羞辱，伤害（感情）
6． leave off 停止，中断
7． be／get attached to 爱慕，依念
8． in particular 特别
9． remind sb． of sth． 提醒某人（做）某事
10．tormentor n． 使痛苦的人，折磨者
11．New York Times 《纽约时报》
12．best seller 畅销书
13．fulfil v． 达到，完成，满足
14．Chicago Tribune 《芝加哥论坛报》
15．simplistic adj． 简单化的
16．dumb adj． (美口)愚笨的
17．misery n． 痛苦（此句意为：会免去我许多的烦恼）
18．distinctly adv． 清楚地
19．agonize v． 烦恼，苦恼
20．keep track of 记录，密切注意
21．contribute to 帮助，促成
22．appreciate v． 欣赏，感激
23．blow up 爆炸
24．work out 解决（问题等）
25．momentary adj．瞬间的，刹那间的