Dear Mr. Wang
I know it’s unwise to communicate with you in English, since I couldn’t have possibly taken any advantages. But please give me the credit for trying; it’s not always easy to confess my shortcomings.
This shall be my third letter to you, personally. Although I’m not sure if you still remember the other two. I’m sorry for disturbing you so frequently, knowing you must have a lot to sort out as well. Well, I’m not really sorry, but I can’t be absolutely unsorry.
I dare not imagine life out there, which brought me nothing but pain. What I know is, life over here is dull, lame and loathsome——Waking up early with nothing to expect, spending every minute staring at empty space, thinking of the world out there, your world. I write and write…trying to write myself into another world, getting my soul into another body.
In your world, not much has changed, I suppose. I’ve heard that my spot has been moved all the way to the back. I guess no one believed I was still with them, it was a white lie. Have you heard about Buddhism’s eight noble truths? One of them was, I remember something like “Living is suffering.” True statement, existence causes pain. How I wish no one ever existed, including me, that is.
I imagine myself sitting in our classroom, in my very own spot these days. Everything was much the same. I turned around and talked to empty space, imagining someone was listening... Did you hear my chatter? Why won’t you answer? Oh, because it’s only me and my imagination….
I know that I insisted for a reply to all my emails, but I’d rather take it back. It’s nothing but a waste of time to reply my emails, I know that. And if one has nothing valuable to say, one should keep silence. It’s already very kind of you to listen to my nonsense. And that’s enough, I’m satisfied.
It feels good when someone far away is listening, no matter what I say. To be exact, it feels good just thinking of someone far away might be listening. I think you get what I mean. Even if one day you got so tired of me and deleted my emails without even looking, don’t let me know. I’ll still think someone is listening…it’s something that keeps me living. I’ll keep sending emails to you…until…let me see…how about until we meet again?
It’s a small world, don’t you see?
I still believe in fairytales.
Good luck with monthly exam. All best wishes.
Sincerely,
Jinglu.sun
PS本文是特意为小荷里的三个会员而发的，bumblebee,whqprincess和yy巧克力。所以如果你看不懂很正常，麻烦大家帮我发表了吧。谢过了。