My head is exploding like a giant paintball. Well of course it’s not easy for one who’s in this pain still make fun of it. If it was in days of yore, i would tell sone i care about it as quickly as possible, but after consideration, i decided not to do so.. Unlike others, it is a kind of physical pain that i can suffer in silence alone. Why would i share it with people and produce more unpleasant conversations if i an able to tolerant.
I’m one of these pathetic guys who don’t believe the existence of friendship, which made my personality so independent and self-concerned. I’d rather do everything alone if i can. Sometimes i wish i lived in the 1500s, in which there was no scientific history, every issue and observation would be explained by god.《Don’t get me wrong, i am truly respectful to religious people.》 Because when we live in a world where we have same belief and would be respectful to each other, it may not be highly civilized like today, but none will we disregard the fact that we would live more comfortable back then. Perhaps i’m just saying these cuz of so many unfinished homework i’m writing, but i do want a better life.
I myself would suggest myself die, which i will not suffer the world and have a relief forever long. But social life suggests that i shall not, because i’m not only living in my life but also some others, and it would be a felony to end it selfishly. So based on this thinking, i’m trying to live by myself and have no one concerns about, and by the time i reach this goal i will be allowed to end everything as i wanted.
But back to reality, i’m still forced to finish my homework first. So gotta go!