1. Your teeth will never look as perfect as the models' in Colgate2 ads.
2. A group of singing male dancers will never appear suddenly out of nowhere3 and start shampooing4 your hair.
3. No matter how dry your skin gets, you will never turn into an alligator5 or any other type of reptile6.
4. Your love will never significantly7 improve because of a breath mint8.
5. You'll never be completely satisfied by eating a Snickers9 or any other candy bar.
6. If you drive an SUV10 up a mountain, across a desert and into a crocodile infested11 swamp12, it will get dirty, it will get scratched13 and it will most likely get totaled14.
7. What looks great on a fashion model usually looks pretty goofy15 on anybody else.
8. No matter how many Coca-colas you guzzle16, you won't be able to chase down17 a cheetah18 or leap the Grand Canyon19 in a single bound20.
9. Your average house pet cannot open refrigerators, talk on the telephone or surf the Net21.
10. Unlike the celebs22 you see in the “Got Milk” ads, you will never look hip23 with white stuff24 spread across your upper lip.
11. Cold cuts25 and sandwiches do not enjoy being eaten, nor are they waiting for you to open the refrigerator door so they can talk to you.
12. Skittles and M&Ms are never as large and colorful as they look in ads.
13. Mermaids26 do not drink any brand of bottled water.
14. Fast-food hamburgers are never as big and juicy as they look in a McDonald's or Burger King27 commercial.
15. God will never love you more because you're wearing Chanel28. And he will never love you less if you are not wearing it. He thinks you're beautiful, and he loves you just the way you are!
1. 你的牙齿看上去永远不会像高露洁牙膏广告的模特那么完美无缺。
2. 永远不会有一帮载歌载舞的舞男突然从哪儿冒出来，开始用香波为你洗发。
3. 不论皮肤多么干燥，你永远不会变成美洲鳄或任何其他一种皮肤粗糙的爬行动物。
4. 你的爱情永远不会因为呼吸带着薄荷的气息而有显著的改善。
5. 你永远不会因为吃了一块Snikers品牌的巧克力或任何其他品牌的糖棒而变得100%的满足。
6. 如果你驾驶一辆运动休闲车爬越高山，穿越沙漠或驶进鳄鱼出没的沼泽，车身一定要么脏兮兮，要么被刮伤，要么很可能彻底玩儿完。
7. 时装模特身上酷毙的衣服换在任何别人身上通常都显得特别傻冒。
8. 不管你狂饮多少瓶可口可乐，你不可能追逐印度猎豹或纵身一跃就飞过科罗拉多大峡谷。
9. 家养的普通宠物不可能开冰箱，打电话，或者上网冲浪。
10. 喝牛奶时若上唇粘满白色玩意儿，你看上去永远也不会有“来杯牛奶”广告片里的名流气质。
11. 冷盘和三明治并没有喜欢被吃的感觉，也不会等着你打开冰箱门与你聊上一 聊。
12. Skittles糖果和M&Ms彩虹糖永远不会有广告片里看上去那么大，也没有那么色彩鲜艳。
13. 美人鱼从不饮用任何品牌的瓶装水。
14. 快餐食品汉堡包永远没有麦当劳和巨无霸汉堡包商业广告里看上去那么大、那么汁液欲滴。
15. 上帝永远不会因你身穿夏奈尔服饰而多爱你一分，也不会因为你没穿它而少爱你一分。上帝认为你本身就很美，他爱的就是你自己。
1. ad＝ advertisement n． 广告
2． Colgate n．高露洁(著名的牙膏商标)
3． appear out of nowhere 不知从什么地方冒出来
4． shampoo v． 洗头，洗发
5． alligator n． 美洲鳄鱼
6． reptile n． 爬行动物
7． significantly adv． 大大地，显著地
8． mint [mint] n． （清新口气的）薄荷糖
9． Snickers: 玛氏公司著名的巧克力品牌， 另有著名品牌、下文提到的Skittles 和M＆M＇s糖果。
10． SUV ＝sport utility vehicle 多功能越野车
11． crocodile－infested adj． 鳄鱼出没的 infest vt． （害虫等）大批出没于
12． swamp n． 沼泽
13． scratch v． 刮，擦
14． get totaled v． [俚]彻底玩完儿
15． goofy adj． 愚笨的，傻的
16． guzzle v． 狂饮
17． chase down 追逐
18． cheetah n． 印度豹
19． Grand Canyon （科罗拉多）大峡谷
20． bound [baund] n． 跃，跳
21． surf the Net 网上冲浪
22． celeb n． 名流 (celebrity的缩写)
23． hip [hip] adj． 时髦的
24． stuff n． 东西
25． cold cuts 冷盘
26． Mermaid ] n． 美人鱼
27． Burger King 巨无霸汉堡包
28． Chanel 夏奈尔，世界著名的服装品牌