My birthday is on July ,2004.I am very happy on my birthday.Why?Because I can eat my favorite foodsand get many gifts from my parents and friends on my birthday.　 Last birthday,I often have big birthday party.So I was very tired in the morning.My father often buys me a big birthday cake. What did my mom do on my birthday? The question is easy. She cleaned all therooms and cooked delicious foods ,and I invited all my friends to my party.We played funny games before my birthday dinner begin.　After the start of my birthday dinner,we sang a birthday song , light the candles and blow them.Then we ate birthday cake.I opened the gifts from my parents and friends.　I had a wonderful birth

修改后：
My birthday is in July. I am very happy on my birthday, because I can eat my favorite food and get many gifts from my parents and friends. Last year, I had my birthday party as usual. I was very excited in the morning. My father went to buy me a big birthday cake. My mother cleaned all the rooms and cooked delicious food. I invited all my friends to my party. We played funny games, and they sang a birthday song and lighted the candles. I made a wish and blew all the candles. Then we ate the birthday cake together. I opened the gifts from my parents and friends.　I had a really wonderful birthday party.

修改老师：Crystal老师 

　　六年级:赵子文

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