The trend in everyday conversation is to use grandiose2 words. “Outstanding” is the new “good,”“amazing” is the new “OK,” and “huge” is the new “big.”
I was in a restaurant in D.C3. last weekend and everything I asked was answered in superlatives.
Me: How＇s the salmon4?
Server: Fantastic!
Me: Does it come with rice?
Server: Absolutely!
Would a “good” and a “yes” have been sufficient? Undeniably5!
At Starbucks6, the smallest coffee you can order is a Tall. Tall would seem to indicate that there was also a short and medium, with Tall being the largest. But at Starbucks, Tall is small. Grande, which is both Italian and Spanish for large, is medium.
Likewise, at your local 7-Eleven7 you cannot buy a small: Your choices are Big Gulp8, Super Gulp and Extremely Big Gulp. OldBananaNavyGap9 also did away with10 the small. You cannot buy anything from the chain stores that is really a “small.” My father is an average-sized man. He hasn't gained weight (or height, for that matter11) for the past 30 years. Ergo12, his size remains the same. But in the same amount of time, his T-shirt size has gone from small/medium to medium to large to extra large.
Upon reflection, the reason for all this colossal13-speak is clear: We are bored with our fantastic, wonderful lives. We want the next-next thing now. Now!
And we also want others to think that we still care, that we can still be delighted, that we know that everything is just great. Even when deep inside we know it can't be. Everything can't be great. Hence, we live in a world where extreme is ordinary, where radical is quotidian14; exceptional is pedestrian15. And to not be overly delighted by the mundane16 is appalling. It's horrific. And, Dude17, that's heinous18.
I'm no scientist, and my methods of proof leave a little to be desired, or a lot to be desired, or an immensity. And to be honest, I guess I'd rather live in a world where people were overly excited than depressed.
But listen to the voices around you. Listen to your own voices. There is nothing on the news that is good or bad, only things that are wonderful or devastating19. Even the weather is either beautiful or horrible.
Listen the next time when someone asks you something and you agree, because when you could simply say “yes,” instead you will say “absolutely”or “without doubt” or “Oh, yeah, unquestionably—absolutely without doubt.”
Have people forgotten what it is like to be OK? Simply OK with what they have and who they are?
If everything is outstanding, if everything is the most amazing thing ever, is anything ever amazing at all?
用词浮夸是如今日常会话的时髦。“出类拔萃”代替了“好”，“不可思议”代替了“不错”，“巨大”代替了“大”。
上周末我去哥伦比亚特区的一家餐馆，我的每一个问题得到的回答全是最高级的修饰语。
我：鲑鱼怎么样？
服务生：妙不可言！
我：带米饭吗？
服务生：千真万确！
说一个“好”和一声“是”够不够？毋庸置疑嘛！
在Starbucks咖啡店，你能点到的最小份的咖啡叫“高杯”。这似乎意味着还有矮杯和中杯，“高杯”该为最大杯。可是在Starbucks，“高杯”却是小杯。“豪华”才是中杯——这个词在意大利语和西班牙语中是大的意思。
同样地，你在当地的7-Eleven便民店里也买不到小杯咖啡：供选择的只有大杯、超大杯和特大杯。OldBananaNavyGap商店也废除了小号。在它的连锁店你买不到真正的“小号”。我父亲是中等体形，他的体重（或身高也如此）在过去三十年没增加过，所以他的身体尺寸没变化。可是在这三十年间，他的T恤尺寸却从小 / 中号增至中号、大号、加大号。
回头想想，这种夸大其词的原因很明了：我们对精彩、美妙的生活已经厌倦。我们现在想要的是更不同凡响的东西。现在就要！
同时，我们也想让别人认为我们仍然在意生活，仍然能够兴高采烈，认为我们知道一切都是那么美好。哪怕在内心深处我们清楚这不可能。不可能什么事都妙不可言。由此 一来，我们生活在这样一个世界里：极度等于平凡，极端等于普通，非凡等于一般。而对寻常事物若不是感到特别高兴就成了骇人听闻的事。“太恐怖了”。“啊，令人发指”。
我不是专家，我的证明方法有一些——或者有许多——或者有庞大之处待改进。坦白地说，我想我也宁愿活在一个人们激动万分而不是垂头丧气的世界里。
但是听听你周围的声音吧。听听自己的心里话。从新闻中听不到任何好或坏的消息，只有一些要么美妙之极，要么糟糕透顶的东西。连天气都变成了或美丽或恐怖。
当下次有人问你一件事而你表示同意的时候，你留意听听——本来你可以简单地说声“是的”，可你却会说“绝对如此”或“毫无疑问”或“哦，是啊，无可争议——绝对地毫无疑问”。
难道人们已经忘了“好”是什么样的吗？忘了什么是过得“还不错”、忘了自己是谁吗？
如果一切都成了出类拔萃，如果事事都是令人无比诧异，那还有没有令人诧异一说呢？
1. 本文是一篇讽刺小品，运用了很多反讽，标题即是一例，请读者多留意。
2． grandiose adj． 宏大的，堂皇的
3． D．C． 即District of Columbia
4． salmon n． 鲑鱼
5． undeniably adv． 不可否认地
6． Starbucks: 美国著名的咖啡公司，在多个国家开有分店。
7． 7－Eleven: 美国最成功的便民零售店之一，在全美有3,200多家连锁店。
8． gulp n． 吞咽
9． Gap Inc．: 著名的国际专业零售商，经营服装、饰品、个人保健用品，其品牌有Gap， Banana Republic 和 Old Navy。在世界各地有4,200多家连锁店。
10． do away with 废除，取消
11． for that matter 就此而言
12． ergo （拉丁语）所以，因此
13． colossal adj． 巨大的，庞大的
14． quotidian adj． 平凡的，日常的
15． pedestrian adj． 平凡的，单调的
16． mundane adj． 寻常的，一般的
17． Dude interj． 表强烈情感的感叹词
18． heinous adj． 可憎的，极恶的
19． devastating adj． 毁灭性的